Schizophrenia

i hate you
at least i wish i could hate you

i wish i could hate you with the same passion that i loved you with

i wish i could
walk backwards into my destiny
and tell my younger self
to never say hello

never
pursue the promise
because it is going to become problematic

never approach you
never tempt fate
never give in
to the temptations of love

never loved you

i wish i could
turn off my heart
and only listen to my head
because my head has never fallen
its always practical
and calculated
and alone

i wish i would have left you alone

i love you
at least i wish i could love you

i wish i could love you with the passion that i hated you with

i wish i could
run at full speed into my destiny
and tell my older self
that trials lead to triumph

always
preserver past the problems
because there is much more in the promise

be thankful for the approach
embrace the fate
and accept everything that is tempted in love

love
for the sake of love

i wish i could
turn my heart back on
but it has been broken past repair
now it only listens to my head
it is pierced
and callused
and alone

i wish i would have left you alone

i wish i could love you
again
and hate you
never
and pretend that our perfection was our promise

i promise to love you
just as long as i hate you
and i promise to hate you
forever

(paulwroteit/copyright 2014)