dear lauryn

i remember the first time that i heard your voice
it was fierce but feminine
it carried the roar of a lion
wrapped into the sweetness of a songbird

"...and after all the logic and the theory, i add a motherfucker so you ignorant niggas hear me..."

i was 6 years old when i heard that line
and that was when i knew

it was you that i wanted to follow
you were the giant on whos shoulders i wanted to stand
walk in your footsteps
find forever in your flow

i listened
intently to every lyric
memorized every movement

you were you
and i was
learning your greatness

but then you stopped
with no warning you stopped
pressed breaks against the floorboard
until tires screeched from pain
you

stopped

leaving me to find forever in what was left
pick up pieces of that which was less than perfect
and patchwork what i perceived was promise

i wanted to be you
until i realized that you were no more than me
a broken shell of what i imagined

you once said "two emcees cant occupy the same space at the same time"

but you

stopped being an emcee
walked away from every ghetto and every city as if nothing matters
you said everything is everything but left us like lost ones
and in the final hour
i realize the miseducation of you
was the miseducation of a generation

i emcee
because you no longer wanted to
and after all the logic and the theory
even though i may do it wrong sometimes
at least
i still do it

motherfucker