the heartbreak of one : #thelightyears

I have been

single

my entire life

single

through roughly

6 girlfriends

one wife

and countless

situations that i refused

to place a label on

i have been single

i was never invested in

we

i was never invested in the moment of us

i was never

invested

i learned

to treat relationships like they were disposable

because one hundred percent of marriages end in death

or divorce

and one broken heart was one too many for me

so i

refused to be

committed

monogamous

trustworthy

loyal

steadfast

dependable

i refused to be faithful

i refused to love

love without fear

love without limits

i refused to trust myself

i refused to be trusted

i refused to be vulnerable

i watched relationships

and draped myself in their failure

covered myself in their downfall

promised my heart that it would never be me

if i

was going to feel heartbreak

it would be because i broke my own heart

i have broken

my heart far too many times

through 6 girlfriends

one wife

and countless situations that i refused to put a label on

i

have been alone

i will die

solitary

lonely

by my self

because i have lived

single

for my entire life