the brooklyn moment... #thelightyears

i

remember the first time that i found happiness

my darkness

had cloaked itself in depression

and i had forgotten what promises looked like

so i

dodged sunlight like bram stokers dracula

moving in shadows

and fearful of my own reflection

this burden

seemed to live in me forever

my desires

were only quenched by my thirst for fast life

and women whom

i would forget by day break

they loved me for a moment

just enough to hate me forever

just enough to learn that i didn't love myself

but long enough to feel the claws of my depression scratching against their heartbeat

they love me

but i didn't know how to love them back

so i

fearfully crushed their innocence

and prayed someone else would be there to pick up the pieces

until she

she asked me about love

and if i still believed

she asked me about marriage

and if i would do it again

she asked me about heartbreak

and if it hurt forever

so i told her yes

and yes

and no

i told her that love

was like feeling the sun

laying kisses against your face

while the wind was

embracing your heartbeat

i told her that love

was the idea of risking it all

for someone who was willing to risk it with you

i told her that love

was abstract

and tangible

and distant

and close

and i had felt it

and touched it

and held it

and lost it

i told her that i lost love

and i lost me

and i lost moments that i would never get back

and she reminded me

of how i once felt

and she told me that she would help me find my way

and my heart

she reminded me of my innocence

and of my peace

and of my desire to be an example for her

she reminded me to love

without fear

the same way that i love her

the same way that god loves me

she reminded me

that a little child shall lead them

she reminded me that my heart beats for a reason

and loving her is one