secret society of suckers

i

should have never believed in love

or santa clause

or the easter bunny

i 

should have never wished upon a star

or threw pennies into wishing wells

i 

should have never dreamed

i 

should have never kissed your lips

or held your hand

i should have never fallen in love

but i did

i

found my self

waiting by fire places 

looking for something that never existed

full from forcing last years chocolate down because i knew that  was forever

but nothing is forever

some things dont even last past

right

now

pasted whispers on the backs of copper disc and tossed them  as deep as i could

i would have given more if i thought it would have made a difference

but dreams

are lies

and wishes are wasted on children who still have hope

i hope for the truth

and the knowledge that love if fantasy

like santa clause

or the easter bunny

and dreams

dreams only exist when you are dying

and love

love is for suckers

(paulwroteit)

tendencies

it was almost as if
i couldnt keep it from happening
images of you drowned all of my thoughts
as my hand slowly slid down my body
melting into my skin
thoughts of us
laughing over dinner suffocated my subconscious
as i reached into it hiding place
and slowly unmasked what i thought was perfection
i
closed my eyes
images of you and i
together
became more clear
with a soft grip
i began to stroke it with shotgun like precision
i gripped it tighter with each caress
until i found myself at the point of no return
i thought of our kisses
our touches
our long lingering hugs
all of our quite moments
i thought of every reason that we fell in love
and just as i pulled the trigger
BANG
i thought about you not loving me anymore

(paulwroteit)