a letter to my next first kiss

i want my next first kiss
to be more awkward than my last

to linger on my lips
long enough to permanently change my mind about love

i want it

to be unexpected
like it was sent by parcel post
and the sender never told me that it was coming
never
notified me of a tracking number
never left a note on my door

i want to hear
my heart
ring like a doorbell
and when i open my soul
i want to be surprised

i want to wear it
publicly like a badge of honor
so soldiers of unfortunate love will stop and salute me

i want people to see it
and turn their heads
pretending
to be bothered
when honestly they are just showing their jealousy
wishing this
could be them

i want us to never be them
never be
anything
that either of us held on to in our past

our past didnt last
and i want my
next first kiss to be the start of forever

i want it to lead to more sunrises than sunsets

i want it to be the beginning of infinity
the big bang
that moment that god created light
the inner peace that buddhist seek

i want my next first kiss to be the sunrise
on a day that never ends
i want it
attached to a smile that last forever

i want it now and forever

i want my next first kiss
to erase every kiss that came before it
place new memories in old frames
and then glue them in so they will live forever

i want to see forever
the moment i open my eyes
right after
my next first kiss

(paulwroteit/copyright 2014)